As for me and my big Friday night news, Eben proposed to me and after a very drawn out period of not being able to speak (for various reasons to be detailed later) I accepted! So I guess that means I am officially a fiance.
I've told many of you the whole story already, but I really want to get it all down mostly for me. I have to say, I'm pretty sick of telling it; not because it's a bad story (it's quite entertaining if you ask me!), but more because I have told it what feels like 100 times already. Part of my motivation for starting my blog was to avoid telling the same story again and again. Since I'm past that point, I'm going to use the opportunity to note all the little details that may get lost over the years. So consider yourself warned; there will be lots of caveats, side notes, and several back stories!
Thursday night (January 8, 2009) Eben asked me if I had plans on Friday. When I said no, he suggested we 'do something fun!' Something fun sounded good to me, but we didn't really discuss it much further. Later in the evening he said, 'I want to cook dinner for you tomorrow night.' I was psyched because there was a class at the gym I wanted to attend, but we had no food in the house so I would have had to go grocery shopping and cook dinner after the class which is never fun when you're already hungry, and I would be hungry! I was very happy with this proposition; I could go to the gym without worrying about buying or cooking food. Then Friday morning (January 9, 2009) he mentioned that he would prefer that I come home after dinner was already finished and he'd cleaned up the space a bit. I suppose alarms would be going off for most women, but Eben cooks me nice meals from time to time, and I just assumed he didn't want me busting in and taking over. (This is something which I have a tendency to do if he's cooking. It's not that I think he's incapable, I just like to be helpful since cooking with recipes tends to stress him out.) He didn't want me home until 7:15 or 7:30. So there I was, eating breakfast, thinking 'SWEET!' I could pick up Michael's birthday present, get my glasses fixed, and go to the gym since I wasn't allowed home until much later than usual. Again, I will stress, I honestly didn't think anything strange or suspect of this request!
I guess this is a good time to mention that Eben and I have never discussed marriage. Never! He talks, fairly frequently, about our nonexistent babies (I go so far as to call it 'baby fever'), but we have never discussed getting or being married. Most people find this odd, and I suppose it is since we've been together 3 years, one year and four months of which we've lived together. Since there's never been wedding or marriage talk, there's never been ring talk. I wasn't even sure what I would want for a ring, so I would hardly expect him to know. Even my best friends didn't know what I would want, so if he asked them, they wouldn't have a concrete answer either.
After work Friday, I wandered through the Public Garden to Newbury Street where I went in a few shops looking for the right gift for Michael. I knew I wanted to get him some serving dishes and an ice bucket because he will be moving out soon to live with his friend Aaron (another story for another day!). I know there will be lots of entertaining going on once this happens, so I wanted him to have some nice supplies. I ended up at Crate and Barrel where I found some nice stuff. Upon leaving the store, purchase in hand, I began my walk down Boylston Street. Friday night was frigid! The wind was raw and painful. There I was with my backpack, gym bag, and now an additional large bag from Crate and Barrel fighting the wind as I shivered down the sidewalk. I looked up and there on the corner was Priscilla of Boston (a very fancy bridal gown shop). I actually paused for a moment to consider going inside to browse, but I thought they wouldn't take me seriously (as the shouldn't) since I didn't have an appointment or a ring. I opted for Anthropologie instead.
Why, one might ask, would a girl who has never discussed marriage with her boyfriend nor is expecting to get engaged for at least many more months even a year be tempted to wander into one of the most expensive dress stores in the city? That I can blame on Lindsay Michaels and a single event on New Year's Eve! Many of my college friends and I spent New Year's Eve at our friends Kevin and Debbie's new place (Kevin recently bought his first condo and Debbie is his roommate). Rob and Becca came from New York by way of Maine to celebrate with us. They are our married friends (Eben and I actually first spoke at their engagement party three years ago). Early in the party Eben and Becca were chatting in the kitchen while I was there catching up with Debbie and Lindsay, when Lindsay noticed Eben holding Becca's hand and looking at her rings. In actuality he was looking at her wedding band, but Lindsay immediately freaked out and pointed assuming he was inspecting her engagement ring. I immediately disregarded her reaction (Lindsay gets VERY excited about the prospect of weddings) and continued to socialize. Nothing more of note (with respect to rings, engagements, or weddings) occurred that evening, but the next day when we met up with friends for tea I noticed him looking at another girlfriend's ring. Her's wasn't a wedding ring, but I don't remember Eben ever being all that interested in jewelry. Alarms were not going off, but I did find it interesting that in two days Eben checked out two rings...
Following my exploration of the fabulous sales in Anthropologie, I made my way towards the bus. On the journey, I passed a store called Mulberry Lane. Since at this point the exciting news of the day was the gender of the baby, I was eager to find a cute gift to send Vanessa and Juan. I didn't really want to get clothes since we had made so many cute onesies for him already. Throughout our vacation in Maine, whenever Juan made a comment or did anything to pester Vanessa, she would point to her stomach and say, 'You better be a girl!' So when I saw the Pee-pee Teepees I knew they were the gift! There was no better item in the store than the tiny cotton hats to put on the little baby boy parts so that he doesn't spray his parents when they change him. I laughed the entire time I was paying for them and was still laughing when I was back on the street walking by myself.
I was so excited to show Eben my purchase as I rode the bus to Harvard Square. With my glasses fixed, I headed to Davis Square. I made one more quick stop at Bowl and Board, and then home I went. When I walked in the door, that apartment smelled AMAZING!!!! I was so hungry after all my travels. Eben had recently finished cooking so my timing proved to be good, and I didn't take over or anything! The table was set simply with two white plates and line of lit tea lights in between. We said our hellos and sat down to eat. He had taken my Barefoot Contessa cookbook to work with him to select our meal for the evening. He settled on boneless, skin-on chicken with goat cheese and basil roasted under the skin, coupled with long-grain risotto (Candy's recipe) and honey ginger carrots. It was by far the best meal he has ever cooked! We were both blown away! As we ate, every once in a while one of us would stop and exclaim how great the food turned out. The whole meal went smoothly; he didn't seem nervous or weird at any point. I excitedly shared my purchases with him. All and all, aside from the candles, it was a very normal dinner. When we neared the end, he told me to be sure to save room for dessert. I was first shown the two mini chocolate cakes I had to choose from; a flourless cake and a peppermint bomb. While I was eyeing these, he pulled out a beautiful mini fresh fruit tart and placed that on the table along with the cakes. Then he showed me the pint of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food he also got me. Needless to say, I was a little overwhelmed, but LOVING IT! I told him with all these desserts he didn't need to cook dinner we could have just eaten dessert all night! Told to choose which I wanted, I decided that I need to have a piece of each since he went to all that trouble getting so many. Eben cut the first tiny slice and put it in front of me. I naturally started to pick at it, but he told me not to eat them until he was done cutting, so I hopped up from the table and dashed into the living room to get my camera. I wanted to take some photos of dinner and all the desserts for my blog so I could share Eben's culinary success with everyone.
Back in the kitchen, I took some (bad) photos of the food sitting on the stove top with my back to the table. I turned to suggest that we make up one more plate of food so I could get a good photo, but those words never came out. Sitting on the table at my seat were three cake plates with a tiny piece of fancy cake on each and a black cube shaped box. It didn't look like a standard ring box with the rounded top and the fuzz, so I didn't immediately think it was an engagement ring; I thought maybe earrings. Eben then said, 'you have these desserts,' pointing to the cakes, 'and then you have one more little dessert inside that box.'
The trusting person that I am, I decided the box contained a bon bon, a pretty little handmade chocolate. At this point though, normalcy evaporated and Eben was acting strangely. I sat down to dig in. As soon as I was seated, Eben who was standing over me, awkwardly got onto one knee.With his hand on my knee, he said, 'I, um, well, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.' Wide eyed with my hand on my mouth, I was floored! All I was able to do was to look from him on the floor to the little black cube on the table. I believe random little sounds of shock and confusion came out of me, but I was unable to to speak for many seconds. I thought maybe he was messing with me since he didn't say anything else and didn't open the box. I still thought maybe there were earrings in the box, so I said, 'is this.... are you.....???' He then said, 'I guess I should be more explicit.' Taking my hand and said, 'Will you marry me?'
My eyes then got wider, although I'm not sure how this was exactly possible, and my hand returned to my mouth. My seemingly distressed state and Eben's presence on the floor began to worry Corduroy and Dela, so they meowed and climbed on Eben's legs. He held up Dela and said, 'You have to say yes otherwise we'll have to split up the babies!' My response was, 'Babies..... you're doing this..... because of babies?' 'Well yeah, that's part of it, I want to have babies with you. And we can have three because that's what you want.' (please note he has said on several occasions that having three kids is ridiculous and environmentally irresponsible) While rubbing the tops of my legs and holding onto my knees he looked into my face and said, 'Please don't throw up on me!' With this, I immediately thought everyone knew at that moment I was being proposed to.
Four days earlier Lindsay came to the salon to get her hair done and seriously for hours during her appointment and after, while waiting for Debbie to meet us for dinner, we teased each other about when the other would get engaged. She was sure Eben would propose in February. I told her that was definitely not going to happen and it would be fall before he even began to consider it. While pouring over bridal magazines, the teasing led to many hypothetical questions like what would you do if you hated the ring he got, would you tell him or just wear it forever? or when do you think you'd have the wedding? would you want him to ask your parents first? how would you keep it a secret if my guy asked for your help ring shopping? (we both agreed that Lindsay would fail miserably at this!) how do you think he'll do the proposal and how do you think you'll react when he does? My answer to this question was that there was so little chance that Eben would be able to surprise me, that if he did, I would probably throw up. Unfortunately shocking surprises, whether good or bad, result in the immediate feeling of nausea.
So there I am, trying not to throw up thinking Lindsay did the impossible by keeping an engagement ring a secret, while Eben is saying, 'you haven't said yes yet... are you going to say yes? You can look at the ring first if you want to before deciding' In a moment of clarity, with my hands on his shoulders I finally nodded and said yes.
There were hugs and kisses and we opened the box. As crass as it is, my first reaction to the ring was, 'Whoa! Is that REAL?' He told me it was and I put it on.
It is so perfect! A beautiful round solitaire in a Tiffany setting with a simple white gold band. Turns out he didn't get any help and none of my friends knew he had bought one or were consulted on style. A friend of Eben's worked in a jewelry store for a summer and Saul was his resource for learning about diamonds, but when it came to style and design, he did it all on his own. When I asked him how he knew what to get me, he said that when he was looking at things online there was no question in his mind that it would suit me, but if I wanted a different setting because it was too high or a different band or a smaller diamond that he would be happy to make any changes I wanted. When he first got the ring he was sure that the setting was too high and the stone too large. He was wrong on both accounts. It really is perfect!
He sized it from a pipe cleaner ring that I had made weeks earlier at a Christmas party. It was a silly looking ring with a spring like coil and a shiny star on top, but he snatched it and used it to make my engagement ring. Turns out that he was about one size too big (which is strange since I wore it on my pinkie), but we got that fixed a couple of days later.
Ok, that's enough for today.
I suppose I should show the ring...
I'M ENGAGED!!!
